Trailers X

As I explained earlier, it was no less than a miracle to uncover this long-lost artifact. And what a find! The first three groups of trailers can't hold a candle to the disturbing goings-on found in these precious five minutes.

First up: the infamous General Foods International Coffee commercial. Because I found this footage on a raw tape, we get bonus bloopers of me cracking up that normally would've been cut out. The dippy concept, the icky sexual overtones, Joe's god-awful crooning--this just might be one of the greatest things ever created by a mammal.

Next: The Ping-Pong Kid. Following our offensive portrayals of Mexicans, Jamaicans, Italians, Vietnam vets, literary agents, and country folk, finally we get around to... Asians, I guess? (Oh wait, we already did that, too.)

Finally: Richard Simmons' 120-Minute Workout. I have no memory whatsoever of making this, which is a shame, because it's genius so pure I should cut it up and sell it in baggies.

I've tried to create this blog chronologically, but in truth I'm not sure when this was shot (hence the "X"). From the looks of me, though, it was probably in the summer before I went off to college, near the very end of Danman's reign. And things got weird near the end. Stay tuned.